A MESSAGE FROM THE ALIEN
Hello, human! I'm WISHONIA. I've been optimizing resource allocation for another planet for 4,297 years. I started watching your planet in 1945 when you split the atom. “Atom” comes from the Greek word meaning “unable to be cut,” so naturally you cut it. This was very human of you.
I assumed you were trying to unlock unlimited free energy. You can imagine my surprise when I realized you were just pointing it at each other. That's like discovering fire and then immediately using it to set yourself on fire.
So I found a human named Mike who seemed adequately distressed about all this and we wrote an instruction manual for your species together. He did the typing because I don't have fingers. The manual explains how to gradually stop being irrational using your favorite tool: small pieces of paper with presidents on them.
THE GRADUAL STUPIDITY REDUCTION PROGRAM
ON WISHONIA, WE STOPPED HAVING WARS ALL AT ONCE. BUT HUMANS ARE LIKE TODDLERS WHO CAN SPLIT ATOMS. YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE AWAY ALL THE PAINT CHIPS AT ONCE. THEY'LL CRY.
OF MURDER MONEY
MOVE 1% OF MILITARY SPENDING TO MEDICAL RESEARCH. THAT'S $27.2B/YEAR. NOBODY ACCIDENTALLY BUILDS AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER. WAR IS A PURCHASE. STOP BUYING IT.
YEARS OF RESEARCH
6,650 DISEASES HAVE ZERO TREATMENTS. AT CURRENT PACE, TESTING THEM ALL TAKES 443 YEARS. THIS MANUAL CUTS IT TO 39. WHICH IS STILL A LOT, BUT LESS THAN 443.
PER YEAR OF LIFE SAVED
50,300X MORE COST-EFFECTIVE THAN THE BEST EXISTING HEALTH INTERVENTIONS. ON WISHONIA WE JUST GIVE PEOPLE MEDICINE DIRECTLY, BUT THAT'S PROBABLY TOO ADVANCED FOR YOU.
THE SACRED PAPER EXCHANGE
TO ACQUIRE THIS INSTRUCTION MANUAL, YOU MUST SURRENDER A SMALL NUMBER OF YOUR PRESIDENTIAL PAPERS THROUGH ONE OF THESE APPROVED PAPER-COLLECTION PORTALS. OR YOU CAN JUST READ IT FOR FREE. YOUR ECONOMY CONFUSES ME.
WHAT'S INSIDE
CHAPTER TITLES THAT WOULD GET YOU INSTITUTIONALIZED IF YOU SAID THEM AT A DINNER PARTY
THE PROBLEM
How Central Banks Fund Your Death. The FDA Is Unsafe and Ineffective. Genetic Slavery. You know, light reading.
THE SOLUTION
The 1% Treaty. Wishocracy. A Decentralized FDA. VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds. How to Not Build Most of It.
FOR SKEPTICS
You Are a Meat Robot. The Two Futures. The Cautionary Tale of Moronia. Frequently Asked Objections.
THE PLAN
The $1B Legal Bribery Machine. Recruitment & Propaganda Plan. Campaign Budget. The part where we explain how lobbying is just bribery but you called it something else.
SUPPORTING PAPERS
THE ALIEN INSISTED ON PEER-REVIEWED EVIDENCE. THESE PAPERS HAVE BEEN PEER-REVIEWED BY EXACTLY ZERO PEERS, BUT THEY DO HAVE MATH IN THEM.
ALGORITHMIC PUBLIC ADMINISTRATION: A PROTOCOL FOR REPLACING GOVERNMENT INTERMEDIARIES WITH DETERMINISTIC FUNCTIONS
A PROTOCOL COMBINING FIVE PRIMITIVES (TRANSPARENT LEDGER, PREFERENCE AGGREGATION, EVIDENCE ENGINE, IDENTITY VERIFICATION, AUTOMATED MONETARY POLICY) TO REPLACE MECHANICAL GOVERNMENT AGENCY FUNCTIONS, ELIMINATING ADMINISTRATIVE INTERMEDIATION COSTS WHILE PRESERVING DEMOCRATIC CONTROL.
THE PRICE OF POLITICAL CHANGE: A COST-BENEFIT FRAMEWORK FOR POLICY INCENTIVIZATION
WHAT'S THE MAXIMUM COST TO ACHIEVE ANY POLICY CHANGE THROUGH LEGAL DEMOCRATIC CHANNELS? $25B FOR THE US, $200B GLOBALLY. FOR HIGH-VALUE REFORMS LIKE MILITARY-TO-HEALTH REALLOCATION, THIS YIELDS ROI EXCEEDING 400,000:1.
UBIQUITOUS PRAGMATIC TRIAL IMPACT ANALYSIS: HOW TO PREVENT A YEAR OF DEATH AND SUFFERING FOR 84 CENTS
ONLY 15 DISEASES/YEAR GET THEIR FIRST TREATMENT EACH YEAR. WITH 6.65 THOUSAND DISEASES LACKING EFFECTIVE TREATMENTS, THE BACKLOG WOULD TAKE 443 YEARS TO CLEAR. INTEGRATING PRAGMATIC TRIALS INTO STANDARD HEALTHCARE INCREASES TRIAL CAPACITY 12.3X, CUTTING THAT TIMELINE FROM 443 YEARS TO 36 YEARS. THE AVERAGE UNTREATED DISEASE GETS A TREATMENT 212 YEARS EARLIER, SAVING 10.7 BILLION DEATHS AT $0.842 PER YEAR OF HEALTHY LIFE SAVED.
THE CONTINUOUS EVIDENCE GENERATION PROTOCOL: TWO-STAGE VALIDATION (RWE → PRAGMATIC TRIALS)
WE PRESENT THE PREDICTOR IMPACT SCORE (PIS), A NOVEL COMPOSITE METRIC OPERATIONALIZING BRADFORD HILL CAUSALITY CRITERIA FOR AUTOMATED SIGNAL DETECTION FROM AGGREGATED N-OF-1 OBSERVATIONAL STUDIES. COMBINED WITH PRAGMATIC TRIAL CONFIRMATION (BASED ON EVIDENCE FROM 108+ EMBEDDED TRIALS), THIS TWO-STAGE FRAMEWORK WOULD GENERATE VALIDATED OUTCOME LABELS AT 44.1X LOWER COST THAN TRADITIONAL PHASE III TRIALS. THIS ENABLES CONTINUOUS, POPULATION-SCALE PHARMACOVIGILANCE AND PRECISION DOSING RECOMMENDATIONS.